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My Partner isn’t Very Supportive of my Weight Loss Surgery

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It’s not uncommon to hear patients tell us that their partner isn’t supportive of the weight loss surgery they are planning. It’s always better to have the support of the people around you so it’s worth taking a little while longer before proceeding with surgery to make sure the people in your support network understand the procedure, and what it is going to take to help.

Complying with the eating and dietary regime will often have an impact on the whole family. You’ll be eating different foods, more slowly and it’s better that everyone knows that and is ready to support you. 

When a patient tells us that their partner isn’t supportive, it’s unfortunate but understandable. 

Very often couples will have grown used to their relationship as it is. Making the decision to have weight loss surgery in order to improve your health, happiness and quality of life means you want to change your life. While that change may be good for you, the thought of you being slimmer, happier and more confident may be a scary prospect for a partner who is pretty happy with things the way they are. I think some partners may also be hiding a deep-seated fear they could lose you.

Other partners will just be scared of the risks of surgery. The upside from surgery is much less for them than it is for you, so they would naturally be more cautious about the risks of you having surgery. For you, the benefits far outweigh the risks, but it may take a while for your partner to see it that way. 

It’s worth taking a little extra time to help your partner understand the surgery and your motivation for having it. You’ll lose more weight and reach your goals more quickly if you are both pulling in the same direction. You should never feel rushed into surgery by your provider and a good provider will encourage you to take as long as you need to come to the right decision. Often, a second or even a third consultation, with your partner in attendance, is a good idea. 

Ultimately this is a very personal decision, taken by you, for you, but creating the right environment with close friends and family will pay dividends in the long run.  

Discuss this with your provider. The better ones will be understanding and will help you through it.  

Picture of Martyn Berrett

Martyn Berrett

Martyn is the former MD of Healthier Weight. Throughout his tenure he observed many bariatric procedures and took part in several research projects so has a unique perspective on all things weight loss.

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