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Gemma's Gastric Band Journey - Week 2

Webready - Gemma - Week 2.jpg

With a positive start to week two, Gemma just needs to wrap her head around emotional eating and cravings. Will she resist temptation when her appetite returns?

So it's a week since I had the surgery and I am officially 14lbs lighter!! That's a whole stone I can't believe it! 

I feel absolutely terrible in myself though and really weak so I am going to pick up some of those Cambridge Diet shakes I mentioned on a previous blog. I can't cope any longer I don't have the energy, at least with those shakes I'll be getting some goodness in me and I'll be consuming more calories a day. I think I'll end up putting myself in hospital if I don't start upping the calories, this can't be healthy for you. It's not the hospitals fault, I just can't stomach the pre and post op diet they sent me, they are unpalatable.

I have had a few people tell me they can see I have lost weight now, it's lovely hearing the compliments as it makes me want to stay focussed but I'm not going to lie, all I can think about is steak and wine!!! 

I keep catching my reflection and even I can see in my face that I have lost weight, it's those little things that make me stay positive but i would be lying if I said I haven't had a few hiccups along the way, I'm only human after all.

My wounds are absolutely fine, other then a bit of port pain and feeling larthagic im doing ok I think? 

Went to pick up some shakes, £80 later and I feel better already! 

My son took some more pictures of me this morning, i have put Day 2 and day 8 side by side, I can see a tiny difference but not much, I'll get there ��

Not feeling very well in myself today. I feel so down and miserable, I know it's because of Mother Nature so I'm currently sitting here drinking a bottle of wine. Yes, I know I shouldn't but sometimes you just need a big glass of wine to relax you.

My job is getting to me since I've had the band, I’m out on the road a lot and always so stressed out, this heat certainly isn't helping either. 

I haven't eaten today, had 2 Cambridge shakes but I just don't have an appetite whatsoever. With all the stress, heat etc I am putting it down to the band being tight? I'm in lots of Facebook Gastric Band groups and I have seen this a lot so it must be true?

Wounds wise all ok, healing nice apart from one little incision. I'm worried I have an infection so I think I'll pop back to the doctors to get them to check it tomorrow, can't be too cautious! 

Since I've had the band fitted I feel so miserable, my partner has said I've not been myself too?

I keep making these excuses like stress, heat, monthly cycle etc but is it because I am missing food so much? 

Food is a big part of my life, when I'm happy I'm eating nice meals out socialising, when I'm miserable I'm comfort eating, literally food is life!

I keep fantasising about food, I'm even craving salad! Now that's a sentence I never thought would come out of my mouth haha!

Being on a liquid diet is incredibly hard, especially when you are having to cook for your children still, even though at times you don't fill hungry the smell takes over the urge and you long to feel something that has texture in your mouth. I would be lying if I didn't say that I have picked of the kids plates a few times, chewed and then spat it in the bin - totally gross but totally worth it!

As suspected I have an infection in a little incision, it's gone a bit green and disgusting so I'm on anti biotics for a week - oh the joys! 

Other than that all ok band wise!  

Ok so I am becoming really addicted to weighing myself. When I say addicted I mean ADDICTED!

I weigh myself first thing in the morning, throughout the day when I have just been for a wee and again before bed. I am becoming obsessed with it and I get so disheartened if the scales don't change.

So I've decided I'm not going to weigh myself anymore, I can't I'm going to end up driving myself insane.

My appetite is back with a vengeance today, I can't believe how different every day is with a band. I only have 3 days left of liquids but again I would be telling lies if I said I haven't eaten a few things. 

I just have the "don't care" attitude on at the moment, I really don't know what is wrong with me but I need to sort it because I really don't want to put the stone on I have already lost. 

I instantly regret eating, it makes me feel so full and bloated and lethargic even though I am not eating nowhere near what I used to eat. I haven't been drinking much water either lately, it's all I drink as I'm not a fan of fizzy drinks but I just don't seem to want to look after myself at the minute.

Tomorrow is a new day right?  

Oh my god my head hurts!

Self destruct mode kicked in last night and my demons got the better of me… several bottles of wine consumed at home last night was a bad move.

Wine is like Pringles, once you pop you can't stop!

Full of regrets today, massive regrets. Feel like an utter failure for being so weak but in my defence as I said previously.. food is a big part of my life but so is drinking too! 

I love nothing more than getting blotted when the kids are at their dads, it's the only time I get to myself and I'm not a massive fan of going out so my idea of fun is sitting at home with my partner or friends drinking.

Can't stomach any food whatsoever as I feel so sick so I'm on the shakes today and plenty of water.

The scab came off my infected wound again, my fault though for putting a dressing over it as it got stuck on the dressing, should really listen to the doctor when they say let the air get to it but the thought of green puss leaking on my tops made me feel ill!

I am going to try so hard tomorrow to get back on track, I can't let this be a waste of money but I know it's going to take time to change my habits and life style. Time is everything so they say?!

Another Monday is upon us and another mad hectic Monday in the office. Working weeks should be Tuesdays - Thursdays by law if you ask me!

Starting the day off so well! Took a litre of water with me to work and a couple of shakes, I knew I would want some food so I bought a little bag of apple from the meal deal section in Tesco's. I was so strong, somebody bought some gorgeous cupcakes into the office and I resisted, I think determined Gemma is back?! 

The drive back from the office takes around 45 minutes, I have to pass not one but TWO McDonald's, I was so tempted to go and get some cheese bites but again I resisted, I'm actually really proud of myself! 

Next hurdle of the day was cooking the kids their tea & I managed to resist picking off their plates too! 

A successful day on liquids, purée tomorrow let's see how that goes!!

So it's officially 2 weeks since I was banded and I'm bringing the scales out to see what damage has been done from my naughty binges, I am actually dreading this..

Crikey, I've only gone and lost another 5lbs, that's 1st 5lbs in total holy moly!

Not sure how that happened but I'll take that! That's set me up for a positive day!

I text Sally my crazy after care nurse to tell her my news, she was so happy for me but made me aware that the weight loss will slow down as the weeks go on so not to expect this every week. I know she is right, I'm moving up to purée today and I have read on the Facebook groups that people tend to put a little bit of weight on.

I don't know how I am going to get on with this purée stage, I feel like a baby on liquids and now the purée!

So my positiveness has ended by tea time, I cooked the kids a homemade chicken korma which they loved. I followed the recipe from Slimming World so it wasn't a naughty curry, I had a few bits of chicken, some sauce and rice on a side plate it was delicious I feel very satisfied.

Will try to do the purée foods tomorrow but I already know I won't get on with the textures, I'm weird about stuff like that so should be interesting!

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